Ask Cherry: 2010 The Break-Up (Why Not a Whore revisited)

This year I'm doing things a little different. Today it's less "Ask Cherry" and more Cherry telling you how it is lol. I've decided not to let format interfere with my message...

2010 has OFFICIALLY become the "Year of the Break-up" I've seen relationships falling apart left and right. If Brad and Angelina can't make it, who's gonna marry my crazy sexy, cool ass? Year after year I watch my girls and other women fall prey to the same old nonsense and so recent an old blog I wrote and then reposted many Cherry moons ago on other blog sites keeps ringing in my ears. It's been on my heart for a week or so. I guess that means I'm supposed to share it again so here it is with some updates... Enjoy!:

I dunno if you watch Nip/Tuck, but a few years ago they had a PHENOMENAL episode that really shined a bright light on my life and a lie I'd been living. You know how sometimes a show can like illustrate your worst fear, or maybe show you a truth you didn't wanna know... yeah, it was one of those episodes.

Dr. Christian Troy, plastic surgeon... for those unfamiliar with the show (why aren't you watching?!?! GET WITH IT!) he's the guy every man wants to be: super arrogant, crazy cocky, paid out the ass, completely pampered. He's always finds himself in some ridiculous sexual escapade. He's had mother/daughter threesomes, foursomes, co-eds, milfs, muff divers, name it he's been there. He's also the biggest jack ass you've ever seen. He slept w/ a big girl but made her wear a bag on her head... no literally I big brown paper bag... Yup he's the type of guy all women fall for at one time or another.

So, he's had this off and on relationship with this chick Kimber who's an off and on porn star. They're both equally fucked up, but somehow Christian always manages to screw Kimber over. Every time she leaves him and kinda gets her life together, he squirms his way back in. They've been engaged, married, and everything in between. He always goes in on this whole long thing about being in love with her and how he wasn't for monogamy but could be with her, "you complete me" the whole shpeel. Then about two episodes later he always manages to shit on that commitment.

One season Kimber REALLY got it together. Okay, so she's become a scientologist... BUT she was content with her life.

Christian on the other hand fell in love with this one chick then fucked it all up by being his jack ass self. So what does he do next...

That's right, he runs right to Kimber's house... no literally the same damn day. He shows up drunk off his ass and looking pitiful. So of course she lets him in.

He says he needs her help. He figured maybe if Scientology helped her then maybe it will work for him. He said all the things that sounded like he was ready to make a change in his life. He was so helpless and in need. Then he pushed up on her, gave her the "I know you want me. Don't you still think about me?...blah, blah, talk panties off, blah"

So Kimber gives in, they're having stapelton sex...

Cut to after. Kimber is lounging all happy on the couch. She walks to the bedroom and slides into the nook, looking all fulfilled and happy and says "let's just lock ourselves in and order takeout and make love all weekend", Christian says no, he has to go to work. Kimber makes a second offer to meet up with him at her church.

Christian gets up to get dressed and says "are you fucking kidding me? I'm not going to some wacko bullshit!" She gets that confused look like "but you said..."

Here's the priceless part:

Christian cuts her off, "I said what I always say... whatever it takes to get laid." (jack ass smirk on face)

Kimber retorts, "How can you be so cruel! Why come to me?!?!? Why not just fuck one of your whores!!!!?!?!?"

His response (this made me cringe), "Whores?, they just give you their body. I needed more than that. I needed to feel like the most important thing in the world. So I came to you."

She then proceeded to smack the shit out of him and he kinda laughed her off and threw her on the bed and walked out...

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Now, most dudes have NO WHERE NEAR the balls to say some shit like that and be that straight forward and blunt with someone...

HOWEVER, damned if that shit didn't ring true some where. I actually had to change the channel cause it really disturbed me. I had to stop and think... is that why me?

I've had so many of my female friends come to me with "why?"

Why did he lie?

Why does he play with my feelings?

Why does he always come back to me if he doesn't want to be with me?

If he had a girl, was in love with her, was not interested, was not feeling me, if I wasn't the one, if I wasn't his type, if I wasn't x, y, or z?

Is it because we loved them? Is it because we made them feel loved and they knew we'd give it to them without knowing for sure we'd get it in return? Are they just using us?

And though I know it's been said a million times, a million ways, seeing it like that... it was never truer.

... damn.

In 2010 I've made myself a promise to never again be the victim of men who are emotional vampires. Yep, VAMPIRES. They will suck you dry and leave you for dead. We can't blame it all on them either. I've gone right up to Dracula's crypt in my best stilettos, opened a vein and yelled "take me now!" We have to start being emotionally responsible. You know that nucca is FULL OF SHIT! STOP IT!

If a dude asks you to do something that sounds irrational, DON'T DO IT!!! He wants you to fly home w/ him to some island and meet his momma but doesn't want to define your relationship... get that man's fangs out of your heart and WALK AWAY! His gramma dies and he calls you and not his girlfriend and wants to come cry on your coochie couch... say I'm sorry for your loss and LOCK YOUR DOORS!! I'm not saying it's all your fault but there is nothing you or I or any anyone else can do to turn a boy into a man and get him to stand on his own two feet emotionally (yeah I said it!).

We can only control our actions so in 2010, I say let's get on trend and break-up! I'm all for it! I'm all for the end of situationships, giving too many benefits to dudes who are posing as your friend, and being the emotional cornerstone to man whose house you can't even spend the night in.

Now, let's hear some comments people! I want the good the bad and the ugly. Do you agree? Men, you're thoughts? I know you're reading, I get your emails but let's make this interactive. Get yourself and pseudonym and get to commenting!!!

- Cherry

Toybox: Hot Seat

Are you a rider?

I'm the type of woman who feels like it's not really sex if you don't break a sweat. Toy play can be fun but sometimes it lacks a bit of "action". Now, I'm not a 100% sure why the good folks over at Pipedream decided to place this toy in their Fetish Fantasy Series, nevertheless, if you're looking to get physical then the Hot Seat may just be for you.

Retailing at appx. $30, whether playing solo or putting on a show for a willing audience of one (or two... hey I'm not judging) the Hot Seat will allow you to get your cowgirl on. This cushioned inflatable (as with some men, it'll requires some inflating before it's action ready) seat is topped off with a firm jelly multi-speed dong. The seat comes equipped with EZ gripped handles so that you can bear down and really ride.

On top not your thing?... For those who are reluctant riders or are looking to improve their jockeying skills, the Hot Seat might be the perfect thing to help you train your quads, perfect your riding posture, and sweeten your swerve.

Saddle up and ride out! ;)

Freaky Friday: Cuddle Buddy?

Blame it on the Fahrvergnügen...

I always thought that the Japanese had the market cornered when it came to robots and weird sex toys, but it appears I was mistaken. Have you ever seen those pillows that are shaped like a person? Well Stefan Ulrich, a German Designer has taken that concept to a-whole-nother-level... a level that I am personally uncomfortable with.

He has conceptualized what he calls the Funktionide. He describes it on his website as "an autarkic amorph object whose intention is to provide the user with a atmosphere of presence thus counteracting the feeling of loneliness"...

... yeah I didn't know what that meant either. Good thing he had a video to explain. Or maybe it's not such a good thing. You tell me: (Yes, this IS safe for work!)

Funktionide Part II from eltopo on Vimeo.

Ask Cherry: Theme Song

I don't know what's going on in 2009, but it seems to me like I keep having conversations where women are just feeling down about themselves and dating. Everyone seems to feel like they just can't find a "good man" and I see a lot of women giving in to their insecurities and loosing their confidence.

My solution... THEME MUSIC!!

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Everyone should have theme music! Remember in The Best Man when Morris Chestnut walks into the club and everyone's panties got all moist?... it wasn't because he was suddenly fine. He looked just like he did walking in the club on that show he had w/ Patti Labelle (forgot about that show didn't you... lol). What he had was theme music. It takes you to another level.

Now I'm not suggesting that you walk around with your Blackberry on speaker, announcing your presence as you go to and fro. What that external sound did for Mr. Chestnut's outward appearance your internal soundtrack and do for your internal glow.

Remember Ally McBeal?... Her therapist suggested she get a theme song and when she found the right song this happened.

It may sound silly to some, but my personal theme puts an extra bounce in my step and makes me feel empowered. I suggest a theme that is not only epic and stadium worthy, I also suggest one that's sexy.

ps... when you do find someone special, try sexing to your theme music... it's a good look... TRUST ME ;)

Bedtime Stories: Handcuffs Anyone?

Handcuffs Anyone?

by papaya_lynne©

My fantasy the other night (about you and I, my bed and your cuffs) was us celebrating the success of my vow by ordering in dinner and watching a movie…and then you asking if you could kiss me.

You said it would just be a kiss…but knowing myself I knew when I agreed to the kiss it would be a lot more than just a kiss.

We started making out on the couch and when I could pull myself away from you to come up for some air I practically dragged you into my room.

Once we were in my room I practically tore your clothes off you and began kissing, licking and touching your shoulders, chest, stomach and then slowly rubbed my cheek against your hard cock before I took it in my hand and began tracing my fingers and nails lightly up and down the length of it.

I handcuffed your hands to the bed so you couldn't interfere while I played and held your cock in my hand and started with quick licks with the tip of my tongue all over your cock before taking the head into my mouth and began slowly licking and sucking your cock deeper into my mouth.

I sucked, licked and stroked your cock and balls for as long as I could before I felt like I was about to explode and then I collapsed on the bed beside you (keep in mind you never got to cum).

I unchained you and pulled your mouth down to mine and kissed you long and hard before pulling away and whispering to you in a voice thick and heavy with lust, "Promise me that no matter what I say, no matter how much I beg, no sex tonight, no actual intercourse." You kissed me back softly and agreed, then began kissing your way down to my breasts to suck on my nipples, sucking hard when I asked you too and giving light little flicks with your tongue when they got too sensitive.

You abandoned my body long enough to handcuff my hands to the bed, since now it was your turn to play and you didn't want me interfering.

Then you moved down my body to my now soaking pussy and began licking my clit ever so slowly. I begged for you to lick me faster, harder but deep inside you knew what I really needed was a big release and you were more than willing to help me build up to that big release by teasing my clit with your tongue. Licking in slow, lazy circles, pulling away and then giving surprising quick little licks, abandoning my clit to shove your tongue deep inside my pussy and drive me insane with pleasure and need.

When I couldn't take it any more I begged for something inside me while you licked my clit so slowly. Keeping to your promise you easily slipped one, then two, then three fingers deep into my pussy and began licking my clit ever so slowly again. You just held your fingers there, deep inside me, while you began licking my clit faster and faster and then just as I was on the brink of orgasm you pulled your mouth from my clit and moved up my body.

With your fingers still deep inside my pussy you kissed me deep and long, letting me taste my pussy on your lips and tongue, making me ache even more to cum. Your fingers were still inside me and I was on the verge of exploding if I didn't cum soon. I pulled away from your mouth and begged for you to fuck me…to make me cum over and over again.

You moved back down to my pussy and began licking my clit with abandon, shoving your fingers deep into my aching pussy. I came hard and fast, my body lifting off the bed with the intensity of the orgasms, scream after scream tearing from my lips because as soon as one orgasm ended another started.

When I was exhausted from cumming over and over again I begged you off me and you moved up my body to uncuff me.

You kissed me long, slow and deep and I could taste my cum on your lips and tongue and found myself full of passion and desire again. I moved my hand between our bodies and found your cock painfully hard and wet with your own precum.

I began stroking your cock slowly as we kissed, until you pulled away from my mouth and let out a low moan, which elicited a moan of my own.

You smiled at me, that knowing smile men get when they know they've done something to arouse a woman and they are pleased with themselves for it…and it only turned me on more.

You saw the desire in my eyes and let me stroke your cock ever so slowly as you moved your mouth down to suck on my nipples, causing me to moan again.

As I slowly stroked your cock and you eagerly sucked at my hard nipples your hand moved ever lower until it found my soaked, raw, recently finger fucked raw pussy. You found my clit and I jumped from the sensation. You began ever so slowly again, teasing my clit, barely touching, while your mouth worked wonders on my nipples.

I was growing closer and closer to cuming by the second and ached to feel your cock in my mouth again.

I pulled your mouth from my nipple and moved our bodies so that your fingers could stay playing with my clit while I brought your throbbing cock into my mouth.

Your fingers teasing my clit, driving me insane with pleasure, my mouth drinking your cock in deeper and deeper, my hands all over your body, both of us moaning, both of us so very close…then you moan that your about to cum and it sends me over the edge, my body convulsing as another intense orgasm rips through my body.

My orgasm sets you off and you try to pull away from my mouth so you can cum, but my hand moves behind you to press you deeper into my mouth as you cum.

I feel you cum in my mouth; roll it around with my tongue before swallowing it and collapsing on the bed. You collapse beside me and we lay there, panting, exhausted and spent...enjoying the afterglow.

So…what did you think of my fantasy?

Dress-up: Unwrapped

Tie me up, tie me down!

Anybody into bondage? No!?!? Are you sure? S&M gets a bad rap. It doesn't have to be all whips, chains and latex body suits. A little sub/dom play can be soft, silky and fun!

The geniuses over at Liberator.com have these great Silk Binding Sashes! Retailing at $79, their Deluxe Kit comes with three 7' sashes and two 14' sashes. They come in three colors: champagne, crimson and black. You can use these bands of silk to simply tie someone to the bed post or you could get really creative and craft intricate knots and bindings as in the illustration above. If you can't swing the $79 you could hit up you man's closet and steal some ties, though, depending on how uh... vigorous your playtime is you may want to hit up the thrift store so you don't have to worry about stretching out your man's new Ike Behar neckwear or explaining any stains at the dry cleaners.

Loosen up, shake off your inhibitions, pick a "safe word" and give it a try! Everything is better with a bow on it!

Toybox: Clone-A-Willy

It's My Dick in a BOX!

Some women are adverse to toys because they want the real thing. Well... it's not always possible but here's the next best thing:

Clone-A-Willy!

The Clone-A-Willy kit allows you to create a detailed replica of a man's penis in minutes. The kit will duplicate every curve, bend and vein. The resulting toy can then be used at your leisure. Retailing at $40, whether you just feel like nothing hits your spot like you man's muscle and you'd like to have a back-up, or you want to start a "trophy" collection, this is one of those things that just sounds like fun to try. If your man is intimidated by the "size" of most toys, now he has no need to be jealous or insecure.

Still skeptical... What if I told you there was a glow-in-the-dark version available? You KNOW that made you giggle! LOL!