Toybox: JeJoue SaSi

A toy with a memory?

While I'm still skeptical about the Sqweel, one new "head simulation" product I am enthused about is the SaSi by JeJoue.

Sasi is infact sassy! JeJoue has developed a toy that is sleek and understated, yet brilliant. This aesthetically pleasing piece of technology is shaped to be physically pleasing as well. It's curved shape allows it to cradle your girlie parts. Like many other top-selling, high-end toys, Sasi is made from soft body-safe silicone, it's rechargeable, virtually noiseless, comes with it's own stand, and comes in variety of colors that would look great on any bedside table.

So what makes this toy special? Two things... a brain and a nubbin. Yes, a nubbin! There is a pea sized nub on the inside curve of the device that recreates the sensation of a tongue. It vibrates, pulses, and moves in several patterns. The nubbin can also move at different speeds and in different directions at the click of a button. This is one of those things that I can show you better than I can tell you... here's a demonstration (SFW). I've exaggerated a little bit... SaSi doesn't have a brain, it's more like a memory. SaSi has a "learn" function that allows it to remember the patterns and motions that you like.

SaSi is a luxury item, retailing at $250, however most online toy retailers are selling it for around $149.99, which is a pretty steep discount. It might just make my birthday shopping list ;o)

P.S. - Yes fellas THIS is a toy worthy of your envy... I suggest staging a competition, I'm sure your girl would be quite a willing judge.

Toybox: Sex in the Shower

112 said it best:

"we can do it in the shower..."

You can have all types of fun in a shower

(just ask 50) but why not kick it up a notch with some fun products from Sex in the Shower.

Their Single & Dual Locking Suction Handles and Single Locking Foot Rests help provide the leverage you need to maximize your underwater performance. This company has a little something for everyone and offers a selection of vibrating sponges, soaps and waterproof toys that you can throw in the mix. They even have a deck of position cards to help inspire your shower room romps. One item I think I'll be adding to my shopping list are the Velcro Suction Handcuffs. ::puts bones back in closet::

The handles and foot rests range in price from $12.95-$19.99 making them a very affordable option. The cuffs will cost you a few extra bucks retailing at $30.

**SEX SAFETY NOTE: Water is the anti-lubricant. It can morph Billie Ocean into Sahara Jones. When picking up your toys be sure to grab a bottle of silicone based lube (water based will get watered down in the shower... DUH). It'll keep you in the groove and out of the ER (yeah, ER... dry strokin=friction burns #epicfail)

Toybox: Hot Seat

Are you a rider?

I'm the type of woman who feels like it's not really sex if you don't break a sweat. Toy play can be fun but sometimes it lacks a bit of "action". Now, I'm not a 100% sure why the good folks over at Pipedream decided to place this toy in their Fetish Fantasy Series, nevertheless, if you're looking to get physical then the Hot Seat may just be for you.

Retailing at appx. $30, whether playing solo or putting on a show for a willing audience of one (or two... hey I'm not judging) the Hot Seat will allow you to get your cowgirl on. This cushioned inflatable (as with some men, it'll requires some inflating before it's action ready) seat is topped off with a firm jelly multi-speed dong. The seat comes equipped with EZ gripped handles so that you can bear down and really ride.

On top not your thing?... For those who are reluctant riders or are looking to improve their jockeying skills, the Hot Seat might be the perfect thing to help you train your quads, perfect your riding posture, and sweeten your swerve.

Saddle up and ride out! ;)

Toybox: Clone-A-Willy

It's My Dick in a BOX!

Some women are adverse to toys because they want the real thing. Well... it's not always possible but here's the next best thing:

Clone-A-Willy!

The Clone-A-Willy kit allows you to create a detailed replica of a man's penis in minutes. The kit will duplicate every curve, bend and vein. The resulting toy can then be used at your leisure. Retailing at $40, whether you just feel like nothing hits your spot like you man's muscle and you'd like to have a back-up, or you want to start a "trophy" collection, this is one of those things that just sounds like fun to try. If your man is intimidated by the "size" of most toys, now he has no need to be jealous or insecure.

Still skeptical... What if I told you there was a glow-in-the-dark version available? You KNOW that made you giggle! LOL!

Toybox: We-Vibe

Let's play... together!

For those looking to add a little more motion to the ocean and rock the boat a bit, the We-Vibe may be the toy you've been looking for. The We-Vibe combines several toys in one. This pocket sized vibrator is made from surgical grade silicone making it soft and flexible and is curved to fit a woman's body, providing both internal and external stimulation. It is designed so that when inserted, the larger of the two vibrating pads fits comfortably over the clitoris while the smaller rests inside the woman against the g-spot. The toy is slender enough that it can be worn during sex, providing stimulation for both partners (click here for a diagram... NSFW).

The We-Vibe is rechargeable, hands free AND waterproof. This purple plaything would be great for women or men looking to introduce toys into the bedroom for the first time. It's small, non-intimidating and hits all the right spots.

This toy is on the expensive side, retailing at $129.95, but with some web searching you can find it as cheap as $69.95.

Toybox: Endless Pleasure

What is THAT!?!

I hosted a passion party for some friends this weekend and the above was what one inquiring mind wanted to know about today's sexy selection.

Endless Pleasure by California Exotics looks like it can provide just that. It's got everything but the kitchen sink! It looks like that ride that every kid is dying to get on. It has multiple vibration settings, rotates in two directions, features a row rotating pearls just below the tip, and moves back and forth at variable speeds. It has a humming bird for clitoral stimulation that is lightening fast and lives up to its moniker. The buttons light up and the toy glows like some sort of magical wand.

In addition to the dual intensity controls, this toy also features a "random" button for preprogrammed pleasure.

Retailing at $155, this is another one of those wishlist investment items, however if you're really interest, as always do your research for a bargain. A quick search showed prices as low as $99.

Now if only it could cuddle and make u breakfast...

Toybox: Elise

Silent, but deadly...

Horror story 1: It's 2am, you're too horny to sleep and neither hand is quite doing the job. You reach for a toy but at this oh so silent hour of the night it sounds more like a buzz saw than a bullet.

Horror story 2: "Mmmmmm... oooooooh... yes... almost... WHAT THE F!?!?!" (vibrator slows to a slow rumble and then gives out) "Great! What else in this house has AA batteries?!"

Both situations suck (sadly not literally)!

Here's a solution: The Elise

This pretty purple pleasure giver is one of the more reasonably priced items available from the bougie skanks over at Lelo. With a retail price of $169, I know I may get a few side-eyes for calling this "reasonably priced" but in comparison to her $10,500, 18k gold-plated cousin Inez; Elise is a cheap date.

What makes her worth it?

1. A moaner not a screamer... Elise is whisper quiet.
2. Plug it in... it has a rechargeable ion battery and comes with an AC adapter.
3. You break it, they fix it... if you've ever broken a great toy (hey, it happens) you know how awesome a 1yr warranty is.
4. Double your pleasure... there are two separate vibrating points in the shaft that work in harmony to deepen your experience.
5. The bitch is fly... look how sleek and smooth she is; classy not trashy!

Toybox: OhMiBod

Slave to the rhythm...

Ladies, ever heard a song that it made you quiver in all the right places?  Fellas, do you have a playlist you think can make any woman drop her panties?  Are you so obsessed with your ipod that you've fantasized about getting intimately acquainted with it?  If your answer is yes then oh boy do I have the toy for you!

Introducing:  The OhMiBod

Bump an iHome or those Bose headphones... I think this little white wand is the best ipod accessory out there.  Simply plug this vibrator into your ipod and it turns your playlist into pulsating pleasure.  The wand contains an audio enabled integrated microchip which lets it to vibrate to the beat and rhythm of your music while you listen. How awesome is that?!?!

I think this toy is genius!  Shame on apple for not thinking of this first.  I did some web searching and saw it prices as low as $52.

My suggestion... download David Banner's Play, and jam out with your clam out!!!

Toybox: Recession Proof*

*Okay, so this does require you paying your utility bills...

I'm quite aware that we are in fact in a recession and money is tight.  In light of that I have posted some thrifty ways to dress-up but not to get off...  my bad.  The last few accouterments that I suggested you all acquire were pretty prices so this week's recommendation is free 99!

So what is it already... The Faucet (TADA!)

I know this is not news for some but I've learned not to take it for granted that everyone had explored as much as I have.  I am positive someone out there is completely baffled by my suggestion and for them I will give some simple step-by-step instructions.

1. Clean your bathtub, i.e., ready the tub as though you were going to take a bath.
2. Turn on the water so that it's warm (but not so warm as to be uncomfortable on sensitive areas) and leave it running
3. Sit in the tub and lie on your back (for those ladies out their w/ perms, put on a shower cap keep your head up like you're doing crunches... no pain no gain!)
4. Slide down so that your tush is flush against the front of the tub
5. Spread 'em
6. Reposition until the water is rushing over all the right places
7. Lie back and enjoy!

Simple enough right?  If you want to mix it up you can play with the water pressure and temperature see what rocks your boat.

Oh, and those of you w/o tubs (don't you hate only having a shower)... you'll need to invest in a shower messager.  Any Waterpik with a "fast massaging pulse" setting will do.  You can get one on Amazon.com for about $24.

Mondays generally suck, so when you get home, run yourself a long bath or take a few minutes for yourself in the shower!

Toybox: Vibrating Panties

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Toybox: Sex Stool

Damn I need to go to the gym...

Every woman has thought it once or twice during any extended and/or physically demanding session.  It's not that you're out of shape, but unlike porn actresses, you don't squat for a living. Yes, sometimes you want to feel the burn and it hurts so good, but that burning sensation in your quads is not cool (can I get an "Amen"?)

Pipedream Products has come up with the perfect solution:  The Incredible Sex Stool!

Looks simple doesn't it?  A part of the Fetish Fantasy Series, this little stool can provide a lot of support (see the website for suggested positions... you may want to check this out from your home computer).  The frame is constructed with heavy duty steel and seat is made of Thermoplastic Polyurethane (TPU).  Yeah, I had no clue what that was and had to look it up... basically TPU is kinda like rubber, but better because it's flexible but resistant to cuts, tears, abrasions, impact and chemicals.  This thing is super sturdy and can hold up to 300lbs.  Basically the stool can take it as rough as you can.

The opening in the seat allows you to straddle/mount your partner, using the stool for support, but still allows for close contact and deep penetration (doesn't that sound wonderful!)

The stool is available from a variety outlets.  Prices range anywhere from $67-110, so if you're interested in adding this piece of furniture to your collection, I suggest shopping around to get the best deal.

Bally's be damned... get the stool and GET IT IN!!!

Toybox: Fun Wand

Need I say more?

I think "Fun Wand" says it all! lol.  

Njoy Toys is the brains *pause* behind this shiny shaft.  At 8" long, this curved and knobbed wand is good for both g-spot and anal stimulation.  Some may balk at a dropping $95 on a toy that doesn't even vibrate, but this my friends is an investment piece that will last long after your the latex cracks on your rabbit, or the cord snaps on your bullet (yes, I pulled your card... you can have it back later).

Made of 316 surgical grade steel, the Fun Wand is highly durable, easy to sanitize and is nonporous.  Its weight (12oz) and graduated nuggets make it great for kegel exercises.

Another understated feature is the wands ability to hold and change temperature easily.  Stainless steel has a low 'specific heat' so it starts off cool (think drs. stethoscope) but will quickly warm to your body's temperature.

For bonus fun, try putting it in the fridge (DO NOT PUT IT IN THE FREEZER) for a few minutes before using, or dipping it in warm water.

Toybox: The Cone

Doesn't this look like fun?

The Cone is a innovative new toy with tons of potential.  This oddly shaped bauble retails for about $129, but it sounds like it may be worth it.  It's about the size of a cereal bowl and has 16 different vibration settings, including fantastical finale called "orgasm".  It comes with an illustrated instruction manual with suggested positions.

I think this is a great choice for women who aren't fans of penetrating toys.  The cone is mailable and stretches to fit whatever you put on it, so it will curve w/ your curves and fold into your folds.  I also like this because it's made of hypo-allergenic silicone so it's safe for those w/ latex allergies and it's easy to clean.

This is also a good toy for couples.  It's hands-free so you can cum without worrying about hand-kitty coordination and since it works independently your hands can roam and you can please more than one person at a time ;)