Freaky Friday: Cuddle Buddy?

Blame it on the Fahrvergnügen...

I always thought that the Japanese had the market cornered when it came to robots and weird sex toys, but it appears I was mistaken. Have you ever seen those pillows that are shaped like a person? Well Stefan Ulrich, a German Designer has taken that concept to a-whole-nother-level... a level that I am personally uncomfortable with.

He has conceptualized what he calls the Funktionide. He describes it on his website as "an autarkic amorph object whose intention is to provide the user with a atmosphere of presence thus counteracting the feeling of loneliness"...

... yeah I didn't know what that meant either. Good thing he had a video to explain. Or maybe it's not such a good thing. You tell me: (Yes, this IS safe for work!)

Funktionide Part II from eltopo on Vimeo.

Ask Cherry: Theme Song

I don't know what's going on in 2009, but it seems to me like I keep having conversations where women are just feeling down about themselves and dating. Everyone seems to feel like they just can't find a "good man" and I see a lot of women giving in to their insecurities and loosing their confidence.

My solution... THEME MUSIC!!

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Everyone should have theme music! Remember in The Best Man when Morris Chestnut walks into the club and everyone's panties got all moist?... it wasn't because he was suddenly fine. He looked just like he did walking in the club on that show he had w/ Patti Labelle (forgot about that show didn't you... lol). What he had was theme music. It takes you to another level.

Now I'm not suggesting that you walk around with your Blackberry on speaker, announcing your presence as you go to and fro. What that external sound did for Mr. Chestnut's outward appearance your internal soundtrack and do for your internal glow.

Remember Ally McBeal?... Her therapist suggested she get a theme song and when she found the right song this happened.

It may sound silly to some, but my personal theme puts an extra bounce in my step and makes me feel empowered. I suggest a theme that is not only epic and stadium worthy, I also suggest one that's sexy.

ps... when you do find someone special, try sexing to your theme music... it's a good look... TRUST ME ;)

Bedtime Stories: Handcuffs Anyone?

Handcuffs Anyone?

by papaya_lynne©

My fantasy the other night (about you and I, my bed and your cuffs) was us celebrating the success of my vow by ordering in dinner and watching a movie…and then you asking if you could kiss me.

You said it would just be a kiss…but knowing myself I knew when I agreed to the kiss it would be a lot more than just a kiss.

We started making out on the couch and when I could pull myself away from you to come up for some air I practically dragged you into my room.

Once we were in my room I practically tore your clothes off you and began kissing, licking and touching your shoulders, chest, stomach and then slowly rubbed my cheek against your hard cock before I took it in my hand and began tracing my fingers and nails lightly up and down the length of it.

I handcuffed your hands to the bed so you couldn't interfere while I played and held your cock in my hand and started with quick licks with the tip of my tongue all over your cock before taking the head into my mouth and began slowly licking and sucking your cock deeper into my mouth.

I sucked, licked and stroked your cock and balls for as long as I could before I felt like I was about to explode and then I collapsed on the bed beside you (keep in mind you never got to cum).

I unchained you and pulled your mouth down to mine and kissed you long and hard before pulling away and whispering to you in a voice thick and heavy with lust, "Promise me that no matter what I say, no matter how much I beg, no sex tonight, no actual intercourse." You kissed me back softly and agreed, then began kissing your way down to my breasts to suck on my nipples, sucking hard when I asked you too and giving light little flicks with your tongue when they got too sensitive.

You abandoned my body long enough to handcuff my hands to the bed, since now it was your turn to play and you didn't want me interfering.

Then you moved down my body to my now soaking pussy and began licking my clit ever so slowly. I begged for you to lick me faster, harder but deep inside you knew what I really needed was a big release and you were more than willing to help me build up to that big release by teasing my clit with your tongue. Licking in slow, lazy circles, pulling away and then giving surprising quick little licks, abandoning my clit to shove your tongue deep inside my pussy and drive me insane with pleasure and need.

When I couldn't take it any more I begged for something inside me while you licked my clit so slowly. Keeping to your promise you easily slipped one, then two, then three fingers deep into my pussy and began licking my clit ever so slowly again. You just held your fingers there, deep inside me, while you began licking my clit faster and faster and then just as I was on the brink of orgasm you pulled your mouth from my clit and moved up my body.

With your fingers still deep inside my pussy you kissed me deep and long, letting me taste my pussy on your lips and tongue, making me ache even more to cum. Your fingers were still inside me and I was on the verge of exploding if I didn't cum soon. I pulled away from your mouth and begged for you to fuck me…to make me cum over and over again.

You moved back down to my pussy and began licking my clit with abandon, shoving your fingers deep into my aching pussy. I came hard and fast, my body lifting off the bed with the intensity of the orgasms, scream after scream tearing from my lips because as soon as one orgasm ended another started.

When I was exhausted from cumming over and over again I begged you off me and you moved up my body to uncuff me.

You kissed me long, slow and deep and I could taste my cum on your lips and tongue and found myself full of passion and desire again. I moved my hand between our bodies and found your cock painfully hard and wet with your own precum.

I began stroking your cock slowly as we kissed, until you pulled away from my mouth and let out a low moan, which elicited a moan of my own.

You smiled at me, that knowing smile men get when they know they've done something to arouse a woman and they are pleased with themselves for it…and it only turned me on more.

You saw the desire in my eyes and let me stroke your cock ever so slowly as you moved your mouth down to suck on my nipples, causing me to moan again.

As I slowly stroked your cock and you eagerly sucked at my hard nipples your hand moved ever lower until it found my soaked, raw, recently finger fucked raw pussy. You found my clit and I jumped from the sensation. You began ever so slowly again, teasing my clit, barely touching, while your mouth worked wonders on my nipples.

I was growing closer and closer to cuming by the second and ached to feel your cock in my mouth again.

I pulled your mouth from my nipple and moved our bodies so that your fingers could stay playing with my clit while I brought your throbbing cock into my mouth.

Your fingers teasing my clit, driving me insane with pleasure, my mouth drinking your cock in deeper and deeper, my hands all over your body, both of us moaning, both of us so very close…then you moan that your about to cum and it sends me over the edge, my body convulsing as another intense orgasm rips through my body.

My orgasm sets you off and you try to pull away from my mouth so you can cum, but my hand moves behind you to press you deeper into my mouth as you cum.

I feel you cum in my mouth; roll it around with my tongue before swallowing it and collapsing on the bed. You collapse beside me and we lay there, panting, exhausted and spent...enjoying the afterglow.

So…what did you think of my fantasy?

Dress-up: Unwrapped

Tie me up, tie me down!

Anybody into bondage? No!?!? Are you sure? S&M gets a bad rap. It doesn't have to be all whips, chains and latex body suits. A little sub/dom play can be soft, silky and fun!

The geniuses over at Liberator.com have these great Silk Binding Sashes! Retailing at $79, their Deluxe Kit comes with three 7' sashes and two 14' sashes. They come in three colors: champagne, crimson and black. You can use these bands of silk to simply tie someone to the bed post or you could get really creative and craft intricate knots and bindings as in the illustration above. If you can't swing the $79 you could hit up you man's closet and steal some ties, though, depending on how uh... vigorous your playtime is you may want to hit up the thrift store so you don't have to worry about stretching out your man's new Ike Behar neckwear or explaining any stains at the dry cleaners.

Loosen up, shake off your inhibitions, pick a "safe word" and give it a try! Everything is better with a bow on it!

Toybox: Clone-A-Willy

It's My Dick in a BOX!

Some women are adverse to toys because they want the real thing. Well... it's not always possible but here's the next best thing:

Clone-A-Willy!

The Clone-A-Willy kit allows you to create a detailed replica of a man's penis in minutes. The kit will duplicate every curve, bend and vein. The resulting toy can then be used at your leisure. Retailing at $40, whether you just feel like nothing hits your spot like you man's muscle and you'd like to have a back-up, or you want to start a "trophy" collection, this is one of those things that just sounds like fun to try. If your man is intimidated by the "size" of most toys, now he has no need to be jealous or insecure.

Still skeptical... What if I told you there was a glow-in-the-dark version available? You KNOW that made you giggle! LOL!