Toybox: JeJoue SaSi

A toy with a memory?

While I'm still skeptical about the Sqweel, one new "head simulation" product I am enthused about is the SaSi by JeJoue.

Sasi is infact sassy! JeJoue has developed a toy that is sleek and understated, yet brilliant. This aesthetically pleasing piece of technology is shaped to be physically pleasing as well. It's curved shape allows it to cradle your girlie parts. Like many other top-selling, high-end toys, Sasi is made from soft body-safe silicone, it's rechargeable, virtually noiseless, comes with it's own stand, and comes in variety of colors that would look great on any bedside table.

So what makes this toy special? Two things... a brain and a nubbin. Yes, a nubbin! There is a pea sized nub on the inside curve of the device that recreates the sensation of a tongue. It vibrates, pulses, and moves in several patterns. The nubbin can also move at different speeds and in different directions at the click of a button. This is one of those things that I can show you better than I can tell you... here's a demonstration (SFW). I've exaggerated a little bit... SaSi doesn't have a brain, it's more like a memory. SaSi has a "learn" function that allows it to remember the patterns and motions that you like.

SaSi is a luxury item, retailing at $250, however most online toy retailers are selling it for around $149.99, which is a pretty steep discount. It might just make my birthday shopping list ;o)

P.S. - Yes fellas THIS is a toy worthy of your envy... I suggest staging a competition, I'm sure your girl would be quite a willing judge.

Freaky Friday: The Sqweel

I love a good toy, however... something about this one makes me uncomfortable o_O:

Ask Cherry: Why Won't My Girl ______?

Ayo Cherry,

Why won't women touch peen in public?

Thanx!

- One-eyed Monster

####

Dear Mr. Monster,

I get questions quite frequently from men who are curious as to why their girl won't do "x" or why are women so against doing "xxx"? The easy answer... it's your approach. I know it sounds like a cop out, but approach has a heck of a whole lot to do with it, however it's not quite that simple...

Here's some insight on sexual taboos and how to tackle them:

1. The Bottom Line... no woman wants to feel like a hoe or be made to feel like one. Be it your SO or your JO, be they hoein' or not, nobody wants to be labeled as one. There are so many sexual behaviors that are labeled as deviant... ESPECIALLY among Black people. Rap videos/lyrics, porn, and quick to judge big mouths reinforce stereotypes about what kind of women participate in certain sex acts. Many woman simply lack the confidence in themselves, or confidence in YOU to step out of the box. Which brings me to number two...


2. Stop being such a judger! Yes, YOU! Stop judging women. When you make a judgement of one woman in front of other women, intentional or not, you're setting boundaries and giving tells about your biases about women and how they comport themselves. Example... you and a date go out to dinner and you make a joke about the waitresses "tramp stamp". YOU JUDGER LOL! You've decided this chick is a hoe just cause of where her tattoo is. Do you know how effed up that is? You might be joking but I bet you there are hundreds of women out there who purposely didn't get a lower back tattoo because they don't want to be seen as a hoe. In fact, your date is probably thinking "glad I decided to get that too on my shoulder."


3. Stop being so judgemental... Yeah I said it twice! Many of the assumptions made about how and where women learn sex tricks are stupid. Also, stop equating sexual performance with promiscuity. That's just fuzzy math! Some women are more hesitant to admit that they are curious or want to try something outside the "norm" because they're worried about the impression it will make and what it will "say" about them.


4. Try having a dialogue about it... not a debate, a dialogue. I'm sure your girl/boo/wife/JO/bottom bitch/etc knows whatever that lascivious thing is that you'd like to try. You've probably joked about it, or dropped hints about it if you haven't just straight out asked her about it. If she's shot you down without an explanation try to talk it out. Don't interrogate her, but find a relaxed moment to bring it up and ask what her aversion is to said activity. Like I said earlier it's about approach. If you show you are willing to hear her out, she might just hear you out.


5. Make it about you... meaning the two of you and not about the act. What's in it for her? What's in it for you? If you do talk about it, explain why you think she'll enjoy it, what about it excites you, what you'll do to accommodate and reassure her if she has some boundaries she isn't flexible on or has some insecurities keeping her from participating. I'm not suggesting you coerce her, and don't just make up some ish. Be honest!


6. As you try out the new, don't forget the old... just because she finally let you come in the back door doesn't mean that's now the only entrance to the house. If she agreed to be bound that doesn't mean she wants to spend every night in knots. If the beats were good before the remix you have to make sure you don't forget the original. Women like to be admired as sexual beings not used like sex objects. Your (insert title) wants you to be excited about them and not just what you can do with/to her. In other words... do it but don't overdo it. You wanted to take a trip to Naughtyville and your partner was down for a weekend visit. If you want to uproot and move there, that requires a second conversation.


7. After it's all said and done... don't be a dick! If a woman does decide to indulge one of your fantasies don't then start looking at her sideways cause she was willing to do it. There are a lot of us that get off on seeing our partner well... get off. Don't go getting insecure and start questioning her virtue. Just because a woman does something with you doesn't mean she does that with everybody. Sexual encounters are different with each partner. The way you connect with each intimate partner is different. A cologne that smells good on you won't smell the same on the next dude; same with sex. If a woman decides to expand her sexual boundaries with you remember that she is making herself vulnerable to you and for you. To encourage her to continue this you need to reassuring and supportive... no Monday morning quarterbacking!

Every woman is different and depending on what you're trying to uh... accomplish, you might not need to heed all of my suggestions. One last piece of advice is that there's no need to be a complete emo cat about this. Walk lightly and carry a big stick. ::pause::

I wish you and your third-eye luck!

- Cherry

Cherry Speaks: SBF ISO WW

No, not white woman, wing woman...

Lately I've found myself without a good wing woman. Like her counter part the wingman, the wing woman can be vital to your success on any given outing.

Here are some key things to keep in mind when you're on wing woman duty:

• Be open to different types of venues - Why must we only go to restaurant/lounges? Bars are SO much more fun! At a bar you can dress down yet still be cute and comfortable. Bars also have less pretense. Let go of your "cool" and instead of being so "chill" let's let loose a bit and have... well... FUN!

• Stop mean mugging! - The point of our outing is to meet people (read men). That's never gonna happen if you throw a dirty look at every man who walks up. If you're not interested, I might be. He might not be Idris in the face but maybe if we let him open his mouth we might hear something we like. It won't hurt if we entertain a conversation for a few seconds. If nothing else at least look at me and get a co-sign before throwing the side-eye.

• Drama Queens need not apply - If you can't go out without falling apart at the first inconvenience then you can't be on the team. Shit happens! There wasn't enough dressing on your salad at lunch, you chipped your nail walking out the door... that doesn't need to ruin the evening. It may take a while to find a park, the line might be long... BE EASY!

• Don't be cheap! - Brace yourself... you may have to buy yourself more than one drink :: flinch :: You might even have to pay a cover (gasp!!) Sometimes you have to put out. Every chick out there is looking for a free event. If you want to swing the male to female ratio in our favor, then we can't always go to the free event that every heifer in town is checking for.

• Drink things that come in pitchers - Do you know how much cheaper a pitcher of what's on tap is than that fru-fru essence of fru cocktail you just ordered? If you wanna be economical, this is the way to do it. Also, a pitcher is an easy way of "buying a guy a drink" without breaking your pockets. If you're not down for tricking a little money on a man, try taking the pressure off of a guy and ask "do you want to just split a pitcher?"

Can you live by this code? Tired of rolling dolo? Do you feel trapped in a fluke crew? If you're in the DC area and wanna go bar hoopin' hit a sista up!

**NEWS BULLETIN: I've jumped on the formspring bandwagon! I've even added a nice new widget on the top right of the page, so go ahead... ask me anything - http://formspring.me/MsVirtuocity

Dress-up: F*ck Me Pumps

I LOVE SHOES. I think I like shoes almost as much as I love sex.

When it comes to dressing up to take it off shoes can make the outfit.

I know that some men could care less when it comes to lingerie and costumes but this isn't about them, this is for you ladies. Personally I just feel sexier in heels. They boost your bedroom bravado and nothing looks better on a woman than confidence. Not convinced yet?... Did you know heels make you look thinner, your legs look longer and leaner, and your booty look higher...

From an economic standpoint shoes can be a very inexpensive way to step-up dress-up game. There's no need to go for red soles. My suggestion is to check out Snaz75. They have a wide variety of styles and sizes (up to size 12+ in most styles) at some of the lowest prices I've seen on the web.

In terms of what type of shoe I have three suggestions:

• The Executive: This shoe can blend pretty seamlessly into most corporate wardrobes. It works in front of and behind closed doors. If you're single rocking these will garner you a few extra head turns and a maybe a free drink of two at happy hour. If you're coupled up, I suggest pairing these with a teddy or garter stockings under your normal nine to five gear and slowly stripping down for that special someone once you're off the clock (or on the clock... office doors w/ locks have a purpose).

5" Pointed Toe Platform * CATWALK-11 $22.99

• The Alter Ego: It's always fun to pick up a pair of more costumey heels. Select something that complements your pillow personality. If your alter's name was Cherry for example, you might go with these:

5 3/4" Platform Pump * TEEZE-13 $59.99

• The Street Walker: I wouldn't wear them every night (unless you're workin... JOKES!) but every now and then when you're feeling like being a little slutty, these will definitely get your man's attention and get his man AT attention and he'll know it's gonna be a porntastic sloppy BJ kinda night.

5 1/2" Stiletto * ALLURE-609 $34.99

Put it on, turn out the light

s, and take it all off... well... leave on the shoes ;)

Toybox: Sex in the Shower

112 said it best:

"we can do it in the shower..."

You can have all types of fun in a shower

(just ask 50) but why not kick it up a notch with some fun products from Sex in the Shower.

Their Single & Dual Locking Suction Handles and Single Locking Foot Rests help provide the leverage you need to maximize your underwater performance. This company has a little something for everyone and offers a selection of vibrating sponges, soaps and waterproof toys that you can throw in the mix. They even have a deck of position cards to help inspire your shower room romps. One item I think I'll be adding to my shopping list are the Velcro Suction Handcuffs. ::puts bones back in closet::

The handles and foot rests range in price from $12.95-$19.99 making them a very affordable option. The cuffs will cost you a few extra bucks retailing at $30.

**SEX SAFETY NOTE: Water is the anti-lubricant. It can morph Billie Ocean into Sahara Jones. When picking up your toys be sure to grab a bottle of silicone based lube (water based will get watered down in the shower... DUH). It'll keep you in the groove and out of the ER (yeah, ER... dry strokin=friction burns #epicfail)

Poetry Corner: Sacrilegious

After all that talk about head over at SingleBlackMale yesterday I got to thinking about a poem I wrote a few years ago. Yeah, I'm being a lazy blogger by posting just this but it was on my mind and I thought you guys would like it... Enjoy!:

Sacrilegious

Have you ever worshiped at a man's temple?

Lit the candles of his alter with your tongue,

Been obedient to his will,

Whispered your secret prayers in his ears,

Let your ecstasy flow and cleanse him like holy waters,

Taken his communion,

Have you ever given of yourself fully and selflessly as an offering,

Sang hymns of praise as he filled you and felt his spirit?

I am zealous.

I am devout.

I am a lover.

Are you?