Freaky Friday: Grady Wilson's Put The Fire Back

Two words:  The Bumblebee!

Some of you may have seen this before, but I thought this SNL skit was hilarious.  Men... take notes, ladies... start stretching, everyone... prepare to be SCHOOLED by Grady Wilson as he demonstrates his love making techniques that are guaranteed to "knock it out!":

Ask Cherry: Sweat It Out?

Hi Cherry,

 

I've often heard men say they are very turned off when their women come to bed with a bonnet or scarf on their head.  As a Black woman with relaxed hair, it is very important that my hair is neatly wrapped before my head hits the pillow.  Now what am I to do?  I don't want to turn my man off, but I spend too much money on regular visits to the salon to just blow my hair maintenance.  How do you suggest I handle this situation?  And is there a sexy alternative to the scarf or bonnet?

 

Sincerely,

 

Trying To Make It Last

###

Dear Trying To Make It Last,

The first thing you need to do is be realistic... you and him.  There's no way you're gonna be able to jump in bed every night, hair free, and then wake up looking like the latest cover of Magazine... it ain't gon' happen.  You can however meet a man 1/2 way.  Here are a few tips:

• Schedule things out- If you get your wig tightened every Saturday then Fridays night should be "Hair-Free" night.  If you're like me and you only go to the hairdresser (or do your do yourself) ever other week, if it's not touch up time you don't mind rocking a ponytail or a hair clip for a day, give him two scarfless nights
• Step your game up- If you're gonna wear a scarf to bed and won't be sleeping alone, wear a nice scarf (i.e., no bandanas... which you shouldn't wear anyways, cotton is terrible on your hair, but that's another post).  You know how you wear a fly scarf to the beach, do the same when you head to bed.  I'm not saying you have to put a layer of Pucci between you and the pillow, but hit up the thrift store, get a pretty/fashionable scarf, something that complements your coloring, and when it gets greasy wash it or toss it and cop a new one
• Accessorize- In addition to a nicer scarf, try sleeping in a small pair of earrings, and throw on some lip gloss before bed.  It can make a world of difference and make you look less like a cancer patient.  Also, that bit of gloss prevent AM chapped lips
  
• Highlight Your Best Assets- Mean are easily distracted.  Wear something that will draw his attention away from your head... in other words, no oversized, holey t-shirts w/ head scarves.
• Make a Deal- Most stores have a policy of "you break it, you bought it"... so can you!  Men are jackasses and most get off on fucking up your hairdo.  I think money to fix your hair is a great alternative to a scarf
• Get Even- If your man has cornrow, next time he sleeps over w/ fresh braids, get on top one night and rub his head all in the pillow... fuzz them bad boys up and see how he likes having to get newly laid hair redone

I think these suggestions can help the situation, but at the end of the day a scarf should not be a deal breaker.  While you shouldn't go to bed looking like a leper, he shouldn't expect you to look picture perfect 24/hrs a day.  If you make an effort and he keeps bitching, kick his bitchass to the curb!

- Cherry

Bedtime Stories: In The Heat

In The Heat

taken from Shades of Love

The heat was unforgiving that evening.  The sun dangled in the sky almost refusing to descend, refusing to set.  It’s 7:45, and the thermometer reads 92.  I’m not sure if that heat-wave broke a record today, but that day heat certainly broken me.  My hair stuck to the nape of my neck, like wet silk, while beads of sweat ran slowly down my forehead, stinging my eyes. 

After thirty minutes or so, the sun had finally lost all its fight and was setting upon the horizon, transforming the skies into delicate pastels of purple and pink hues. I sat on the porch steps looking out over the beach, and all its seclusion, grateful for the evening’s relief. This was my evening ritual, to watch the sunset and enjoy the soothing tones of the oceans serenade.  A shy wind began to gently pick up from the west, cooling my brow and forcing a smile.  I opened my legs to let the cool breeze blow up my cotton dress, and quench the stickiness between my legs, with hopes of pacifying that building yearning feeling of horniness that often comes with sweat and heat.

Tye wasn’t due back to the beach house for another week, which meant I was alone, and at the moment, feeling very sexually repressed.  While the breeze teased my sensations, I drifted in thought about the way Tye touched me in just he right places, the way he made me tingle with excitement when he said my name.

Hmmm… I’m starting to feel aroused. I’ll knew I’d never last the night like this.

I got up and headed to the bedroom. The house had somewhat cooled with the smooth flowing ocean breeze.  It felt good, but it was still stifling.  Inside the bedroom was even hotter; I guess I’ll have to do this on the porch.  Well, what’s the sense in having a private beach if I can’t enjoy it? I reached into the bottom drawer of my nightstand, and pulled out my little friend “Dexter”. Dexter satisfied my sexual desires on those lonely nights when Tye was away.  I turned him on to test the batteries.  The whine of the motor made me smile, thinking of a battery commercial.

They keep going, and going, and going…

Heading back to the porch steps, I carefully surveyed the area for trespassers; nothing but quiet sand and the tall grass dancing in the wind.  Perfect.

 I got comfortable in my chair as I turned on Dexter, and straddled my legs against the railing of the porch steps.   Suddenly swept by a feeling of paranoia; I carefully scanned the area again.  Sorry, no shows tonight fella’s.  Feeling that the coast was clear, I felt it was time to let my vibrator do what it was meant to do. I leaned my head so far back I could hardly swallow, and teased my clit until I could feel moisture on the seat cushion. My fingers were drenched in activity, as I moaned without reservation.  Pinching my nipples as hard I could take, as my hips gyrated in the air, making wet sloppy sounds, I buried Dexter deep inside me and grinded it so hard, I thought I would crush it.  I could feel my walls agree with contraction as they vibrated with waves of so much intensity, I could feel the tears run down my cheeks.

Thank god, I’m a woman.

As I collapsed in the chair, with heavy breath after such a workout, entranced in my relief, I was awakened by the sound of a twig snap.  I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the blur shape of a man standing about a yard away, simply watching me.  I hurriedly got up, and almost ran back to the house completely embarrassed.  The man began come closer and into the light.  As he came to vision I could see it was my next door neighbor from the next beach over.  I had often seen him around town when Tye and I went in for supplies.  He always had a smile and something pleasant to say.  To this day, I could not tell you what it was, but in the moon light, that night, he was gorgeous, and instead of going in the house I just stood there.  My god, I was still having orgasms. I could feel the warm sticky cum slowly seeping down my legs.

We just stood there, the three of us; Dexter who was still vibrating, the silent neighbor who was still watching and myself, who was still cummin’. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off him, locked a moment of animalistic heat, and devil may care desire. My clit is literally twitching, and he’s just standing there.  Finally, I guess having mustered his courage; he approached me as I sat on the porch chair, vibrator still in hand. He looked at my vibrator, then at me and smiled.  I smiled a weak smile then opened my mouth to say something; he put his finger to my mouth to quiet me.  My nostril flared at the distinct smell of spit, and fresh cum on his fingers. Now I am completely turned

You naughty boy, you been watching me and jerking off.

Before he could remove finger, I softly rubbed my cheek against it, and found it still moist and sticky.  With one long stroke of my tongue, I licked his finger and savored his remnants. Now self-assured of my invitation, he gently took the vibrator out of my hand, knelt down in front of me and spread my legs.  Then, with expertise he slowly slid Dexter deep between my legs grazing my G-Spot.  I gripped the chair tightly and moaned at my own insanity, as I felt myself flowing in streams and my pussy lips gripped Dexter tighter with each passing thrust.  As his wrist brushed against my inner thighs between thrusts, I could feel my cum totally soaking his wrists. 

Oh my god, six orgasms… I can’t take anymore.

He kept working my Dexter in me, until I could no longer control myself. In frenzy I grabbed his face and kissed him hungrily. There is no better orgasm, than one sealed with a kiss.  As my tongue lashed about in his mouth, the feeling of his tongues thickness had me juicier than ever.  I wanted it inside of me. 

As if he had read my mind, he cupped my face with his hands as he pulled away from me.  I assume that he was jerking off, while fingering me, because I smelled my cum on one hand, and his cum on the other.  At last he spread my legs and began to devour me throwing me into hair-pulling ecstasy.  In all my life, I have never had my clit licked so perfectly.  I grabbed his head and suffocated him within me, smearing him with hot cum.  He dove in deeper, and I grinded down hard as hard as I could to push every ounce of cum out and onto his face or into his mouth.  After licking me clean, he began shaking uncontrollably. He arose from me, turned and shot an unbelievably long stream of cum onto the beach. His hands were moving so fast that they were no more than a blur.

When he was done he extended his cum-drenched hand to me, motioning for me to rise from the chair.  He came so hard he literally had cum dripping from his hand.  Before rising, I studied his soaked hand for a moment, and caught one of the drops with my finger before it fell.  He smiled as I tasted his cum’s thick milk-shake like texture and sweet/salty flavor.

We kissed passionately for what seemed like hours, with the roar of the ocean filling our ears with fantasy and passion.  The type of passion you are told about as a teen, you look for as an adult, and long to remember when you’re old. 

All of the sudden the ocean stopped roaring, and there was nothing but a deafening silence and darkness.  I then awakened from my dream and opened my eyes to reveal, that I was still straddled in the chair, and the copper top batteries in Dexter had just died.  Oh well, but that was one hellacious dream.

Keep going, and going… My ass.

I’m glad Tye is coming home early.

Dress-up: Just For Men

The naked man...

I realize that I have been neglecting my male readers in the dress-up department.  I've never been a huge fan of men in costumes.  I just like men fitted in finely tailored luxury clothing (though don't get me wrong... a beater and some sweats, or better yet, just a pair of sweats can be quite tasty).  Again I recognize that we are in a recession, so for the men out there on a budget,  I give you The Naked Man:

This "outfit" is best explained by Mitch from How I Met Your Mother -- "It's called 'The Naked Man'... You're on a first date and you've had a few drinks. You make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment. Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs. She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado -- she sleeps with you."

According to Mitch it works two out of every three times.  Use it wisely!

Toybox: Recession Proof*

*Okay, so this does require you paying your utility bills...

I'm quite aware that we are in fact in a recession and money is tight.  In light of that I have posted some thrifty ways to dress-up but not to get off...  my bad.  The last few accouterments that I suggested you all acquire were pretty prices so this week's recommendation is free 99!

So what is it already... The Faucet (TADA!)

I know this is not news for some but I've learned not to take it for granted that everyone had explored as much as I have.  I am positive someone out there is completely baffled by my suggestion and for them I will give some simple step-by-step instructions.

1. Clean your bathtub, i.e., ready the tub as though you were going to take a bath.
2. Turn on the water so that it's warm (but not so warm as to be uncomfortable on sensitive areas) and leave it running
3. Sit in the tub and lie on your back (for those ladies out their w/ perms, put on a shower cap keep your head up like you're doing crunches... no pain no gain!)
4. Slide down so that your tush is flush against the front of the tub
5. Spread 'em
6. Reposition until the water is rushing over all the right places
7. Lie back and enjoy!

Simple enough right?  If you want to mix it up you can play with the water pressure and temperature see what rocks your boat.

Oh, and those of you w/o tubs (don't you hate only having a shower)... you'll need to invest in a shower messager.  Any Waterpik with a "fast massaging pulse" setting will do.  You can get one on Amazon.com for about $24.

Mondays generally suck, so when you get home, run yourself a long bath or take a few minutes for yourself in the shower!